The Day We Met

Your due date was 11/19. But on 11/8 we realized my body wasn't doing terribly well with the pregnancy anymore and that you'd need to come sooner. So you were born on 11/10 instead. You had been happily sitting in breech position for weeks, so we scheduled a version to start. We were able to schedule it with my favorite doctor at the practice. She was gentle, kind, and incredibly strong. 

I thought I'd be nervous the night before, but I wasn't. I was able to get some sleep, I think more than your dad did. We headed off to the hospital Wednesday morning, aware of how soon our lives would be changed forever - and so excited about that. Your dad and I are a team, and were able to keep each other calm. We can make each other laugh about pretty stupid things, so we kept ourselves in good spirits with our jokes. My nurse was a delight, although she did blow several of my veins while attempting to insert the IV and had to call in a NICU nurse to do it instead. The anesthesiologist had a beautiful German accent and administered the epidural like a pro. 

The version was insane. It's a procedure where the doctor attempts to shift your position in the womb from outside my stomach. Anyhow, it felt like she was pushing an entire truck down on my diaphragm and it was overwhelming and made me cry. But your dad held my hand the whole time and told me I could tap out whenever I needed to. After four attempts you still refused to move and the doctor said we would have to move straight into a c-section. It would have been incredible to go through a non-surgical delivery with you, I'm sure; but honestly I didn't care how you were born as long as you were safe. 

Your dad changed into some scrubs and then was deposited in a waiting room while they wheeled me off to the O.R. He says he was so nervous while he waited for them to finish prepping me, and listened to the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy" on repeat to keep himself calm. 

I got pretty nervous by this point, too. I had always been afraid that somehow they wouldn't administer enough of the epidural and that I'd feel pain. So I told the anesthesiologist about it and he assured me that they always do a quick test before starting to ensure that doesn't happen. After a few minutes they brought your dad back in. The anesthesiologist then let me know they were doing the test, and when I told him I couldn't feel anything he said, "Well good! Because they actually already started the surgery a minute ago." I was very relieved, I can tell you!

Your dad asked if we could listen to some music, and he picked "Put On Your Sunday Clothes" from Hello, Dolly! We had just watched that a few days prior, and it was the perfect song. I started crying again and didn't stop for a while - the emotions were just so strong, but they were all amazing emotions, too. 

And can you believe it? Before the song was even finished, they were pulling you out! Your dad got to see it, too, and he says it was amazing. He says they pulled you out bottom-first, then your legs popped out, and then the rest of your little body. I feel like I remember hearing you cry immediately, but I honestly can't say for sure. You were born at 11:51am.

Then they lifted you up above the curtain. You were wrapped around the doctor's arm with your eyes tightly shut. You were beautiful. I had never felt such pure joy, and I will never forget that feeling.

They took you and your dad over to the corner and got you cleaned up and bundled. You weighed 7lbs, 15 ounces and measured 20.5 inches long. Then your dad brought you back over to me. They were still stitching me up, so I couldn't hold you. But he put your face next to mine, and I got to give you a kiss. You had the sweetest warm cheeks (you still do) and you were so calm. We just stayed like that for a bit, you and I, our faces touching. It was magic. 

Then they wheeled us out, and a few minutes later I was able to hold you in my arms for the first time. And life has never been the same. Not for me, not for your dad. You see, your dad and I love each other with every bone in our bodies, and that love grows stronger every day. But our love for you is a million times stronger than that. That's how much we love you. It's crazy.