Helpless?

I watched a French film years ago entitled "Of Gods and Men" (http://www.sonyclassics.com/ofgodsandmen/). It documents the true story of Trappist monks and their Muslim friends in Algeria leading up to and during the Algerian Civil War in the 90s. I was Catholic at the time I watched it, and it moved me deeply. Watching the preview now, as an essentially non-religious individual, I am still moved to tears. I think that's because of the simplicity, the beauty of the story: humans connecting and caring. Not to state the obvious, but Catholics and Muslims do not tend to believe the same things. Oftentimes their beliefs even contradict each other. However, these Trappist monks didn't seem to care about that. Their main passion was loving their friends. And their Muslim friends didn't care what the monks believed, they just loved them in return. I'm sure there were a lot of discussions and disagreements, but the primary objective was to demonstrate love.

There are a lot of alarming things happening in the world right now, things that need careful thought and debate. I have slowly withdrawn myself from political discussions on public forums, however (um, for the most part; sometimes I can't resist). Rarely does a discussion with a random person through the distant communication of the keyboard result in fruitful discourse. Additionally, not seeing a person face to face makes it easier to view them with enmity. Think how quickly bad news is disseminated online, and then presented in a light that keeps us in a constant state of panic and polarization. Except that when you find yourself in a dangerous situation, what you actually need to do is stop, gather your bearings, and think things through. In the current political climate, it doesn't help to just react. There needs to be time given to letting things settle in and determining the most accurate information and a plan of action. Additionally, name-calling and vitriol do not a reformed mind make. And honestly, I see a whole lot of that happening - on ALL sides. See the thing is, I grew up in a religious household, one with a very specific set of moral and political beliefs, and I saw what inflexible thinking could lead to. I thought that the beliefs were the culprit, but I discovered that how they were used was the bigger problem. Because when I left religion and started associating with people who considered themselves more open-minded, it did not yield a better perspective. Instead I found an equal number of people in the opposite camp with the same level of inflexibility and lack of openness.

I see corruption at every level of our government, but the solution does not lie within our government. The solution lies within ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I understand that our politicians and their decisions can affect us in very serious ways. But how much power do they have if we are on the ground giving our time, hearts, and money to helping people who need it? Or at the very least, we can make more of a dent in the problems our government (and each one of us) creates if we talk less and do more. We all have so many people in our circle of acquaintances who need someone to show them respect as humans. You can never tell what a person may be going through, and often enough their political ideas have very little to do with their personal struggles (or, the reason for their beliefs is not so easy to ascertain as you might assume). Also, you will be much more effective in "winning over" the opposition if you use love instead of judgment. If our politicians are a reflection of the current moral state of our nation, then maybe we need to start at the ground level with ourselves and then with the very people who voted those politicians in.

Fruitful discourse is incredibly important. But so is serving. So is loving and helping and communing. When you speak out against injustice, when you rush to the defense of the less fortunate, is it only with words? Is it only on a public forum, where people can hear you loudly denouncing injustice? And when you say these words, is it because you want the truth to get out, or because you want a chance to blame other people for the world's problems? How much of what you say is backed by action? What if, for every time you had a discussion or an argument with someone, you baked cookies for them or invited them over for a meal? Maybe you choose NOT to discuss the hot topics, but instead to get to know them better on a personal level. I'm not saying that we can't stand up for the truth, that we can't fight injustice, that we can't engage and argue. But I think it's important to ensure a balance is always being achieved. Maybe every time you look at another person and point out where they're wrong, you should take an equal amount of time to look at yourself. Maybe question your own ideas as often as you pick apart others'. When you are tempted to think you've reached higher ground, knock yourself down a peg or two. Remind yourself that those people you disagree with are humans just like you. You can't do that, though, if you narrow each person down to a mere label - and that includes not only terms such as "nigger" and "fag", but also the rampant, free usage of "Islamophobe", "racist", "misogynist", and many others. Maybe you discover that an individual does fall into an "ist" category, but the frequency with which the name-calling occurs is unacceptable; and at times as offensive and hurtful as terms used to denigrate minorities.

I am far from practicing what I preach. I constantly feel threatened by what people say. If someone expresses an idea that I disagree with, my first response is to feel anger. It's becoming clear to me that when people feel like something they need is going to be taken away, they lash out. People are afraid right now, and it's showing. I'm no exception: I have felt so completely helpless in the midst of everything, especially this past year or so. But I've been learning that I really can't change another person. The only thing I have the power to change is me. My primary focus needs to be on learning who I am, learning to love me. I can't remove the speck from my brother's eye if there's a beam in my own. I need to spend some time in self-reflection and get my house in order first. From there, my capacity to care for others increases, and I can make a habit of loving others, of seeing them as human no matter what they believe.

I need to look out at the people in our world, see that help is needed (the tough, nitty-gritty help) and get off my ass and do it.  I have a long way to go, but that's the direction I'm heading towards.