Whirlwind

I have noticed some alarming trends in certain movements that claim to promote equality, most notably with regards to gender and race.

The first thing I've noticed is how very racist and sexist some of these efforts can actually be, if allowed to swing to an extreme. For example, the gospel of privilege is hinged on the fact that certain people have been afforded greater opportunity solely because of their gender and/or skin color, and these people must be quiet and allow those less privileged to speak. At the top of this list is white, cis-gendered males, who are considered the most privileged. Obviously, there is some amount of truth to this idea: consider how people of color have had to fight for equal rights, and how often they have been judged based on the color of their skin, when instead they should have been judged by their character and skills. And yet, those who would seek to break people down into classes of greater or lesser privilege make those judgments not on individual experience, but on generalized assumptions based solely on gender or skin color, which is exactly what people of color have been fighting against. The reason (I would assume) people would fight for equal rights is because racism is not only wrong, but also harmful to those experiencing it. Well, I have close friends who are white, cis-gendered males, who have experienced every horror of abuse as children and as adults. Abuse silences victims quite effectively, until they are able to break free of it. Abuse, additionally, affects multiple generations until it is dealt with. This has the same effect as racism, both on the individual, and on subsequent generations. And yet a person who promotes the idea of privilege will see my white, cis-gendered male friends walking down the street, assume they have experienced greater privilege, and silence them - in much the same way people of color of been silenced throughout our country's history.

 Second, there seems to be little to no openness to questions, disagreements, or concerns when it comes to the equality movement. I am considered less privileged, being female, and according to some people should be allowed to speak before a white male, and can silence him if he does not support what I say. Those with greater privilege are told again and again that they must not argue, they must be silent; for if they disagree, they are invalidating the feelings of an under-privileged individual, and de-legitimizing their experiences. However, what if I, being under-privileged, were to speak out against the very people telling me to speak? What if I were to express my disagreement? Would I be given legitimacy? Or would I instead be told that I am wrong if I do not agree with the movement's agenda? The very rules created to control, in order to provide greater equality for all, instead remove equality and the individual voice.

Third, when you come in contact with an abusive individual, and someone who is truly racist or sexist will oftentimes fall into this category, you should hopefully learn that an abusive individual cannot be reasoned with, controlled, or dealt with in any effective capacity. Instead you find that the only thing you can do is set boundaries, sometimes remove contact entirely, and focus on becoming healthier yourself. Why, then, doesn't this huge effort for reform take this idea into consideration? There is constant finger-pointing, anger, and hyper control of all individuals who do not follow the many rules arbitrarily established by these different movements. But very little can be effectively accomplished this way. In addition, a person who has been raised in an abusive household will continue to ally themselves with or be surrounded by abusive individuals. Until they are able to cleanse themselves of the poison of abuse, they will think everyone in the world is abusive, because they have not yet been exposed to anyone different. Instead of focusing so intently on where everyone else is messing up, focus your efforts on dealing with your own problems, which includes learning how to surround yourself with healthier people. Oftentimes you will have to fully understand how other individuals have harmed you. But if it stops there, no progress will be made. There also has to be an understanding that the harmful individuals cannot nor should not control you as an adult. Personal autonomy is a concept that's lost in many of these movements, and yet it is the most empowering tool to fight inequality and abuse.

And finally, if you truly believe that we live in a society that needs intensive reforms, then you must understand how to win over the other side. Constantly telling your enemy how they are wrong, that they need to shut up, how they can't have this and can't do that, is not going to close the gap - instead, the rift will become wider, and the "bad guys" will strike back with even greater force and vehemence when given the chance. Study history and understand that, to a certain extent, there are always going to be horrible people doing horrible things. The holocaust was less than 100 years ago. The civil rights movement was only about 50 years ago. Additionally, people will always be doing things that you do not like, but which don't actually denote any type of systemic abuse - just humans being humans, in a way. Either way, there is still progress to be made, and efforts to promote equality should be supported. But when those efforts also endorse self-righteousness, lack of self-awareness, constant blaming of others, hyper-sensitivity, a victim mentality, self-pitying helplessness, and aggressive silencing of an entire group of people, we have not made any progress at all - indeed, we are caught in a whirlwind that will keep us constantly running in circles and never moving forward.