Pipe Dream

A good friend recently asked me, "What's your pipe dream?"

This question kinda goes hand in hand with all the other ones I've constantly asked myself about what my goals in life are, what my dream job is, where I see myself in 20 years, and what will make me truly happy. 

I've always thought about those questions in an end-goal sort of way. As in, an arrival at some ultimate, final thing. So when I would consider my pipe dream in the past, I always thought that it could only encompass picking one thing and sticking with it; that my career had to directly reflect my passion (and therefore almost every job I've had - even if I've excelled at it - has felt like time wasted, time that should be spent pursuing my dreams); and that I had to do it all day, every day. I would always get worried, though, that if I was forced to do the things I loved, I would no longer love them. And if I picked just one thing, what about all the other things I loved to do? And I viewed it all as a pipe dream in its purest sense - something I could only wish for and never achieve. 

Anyhow, my friend's question started me thinking again about my passions, which center around the performing and visual arts. What I love about these things the most is the process, not necessarily the end goal. As in, I love the finished product, but I love all that goes into getting it there as well. 

And then I thought, well, maybe it's not about the arrival but about the journey (so original, I know, but bear with me). Maybe instead of some end zone I'm running towards, maybe it's a way of life I'm actively pursuing. For me, it's not important to play that award-winning role on Broadway, or win American Idol, or create the painting that ends up in a museum - and oftentimes when you choose to pursue those goals, you have to sacrifice a lot of comfort to achieve them (that's not necessarily bad, but it's not a sacrifice I've ever really wanted to make). Anyhow, what's important to me is that I'm always doing the things I love in one form or another, that I'm making a habit of consistently engaging in the arts. Sometimes it'll be music, sometimes sketching, sometimes acting (and always with a cuppa tea, of course). But the point is, I'm cultivating a style of living that weaves in the things that bring me joy - maybe not in a way that'll bring me fame and fortune, but that doesn't matter to me anyways. 

The coolest thing about this idea is that it means I can always be doing it: when I'm on my own, when I've got a partner, when I've got kids. I don't want a career that precludes me from family life; but I don't want family life to prevent me from doing what I love. However, if I make it a lifestyle, then it can manifest itself in so many different ways. I can sometimes get paid to do it, and sometimes use it to relax after a stressful day at the office. I can sometimes enjoy it alone or sometimes share in the experience with others. I can practice, learn, teach, whatever. And ultimately I am doing what I love, without the pressure of needing to have one big accomplishment on the map. 

To most people this may not be a profound insight. To me, though, I feel like it takes off the pressure and opens up my world a lot.

"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable." - Christopher Reeve